I'm a 35-year-old graduate student who met the love of my life. A man I want to marry and who wants to marry me. My mother, who is a single parent, raised me and my four younger siblings. Ever since I told my mom I was engaged, she refuses to meet my fiancé and has told me never to come home again. She listens to your show every evening as it plays in the background of the nursing home where she works. I don't know what to do to show her that I love her and always will. And I want her to know that I have a man, Jared, who loves me and supports me unconditionally. What do I do? Do I show up on her doorstep with my fiancé? Do I give her space and time? She hasn't talked to me in five months and doesn't reply to any of my letters. I want her blessing.
You didn't specify why your mother disapproves of the marriage but I'm wondering if it's a cultural thing or a religious thing. Or perhaps she's upset that your fiancé didn't ask for her permission first. That part isn't clear to me. And since she's not speaking to you, perhaps you don't even know yet. However, you say your mom raised you and four younger siblings so I think that's where you should go first to find answers. Ask your siblings to ask your mom why she is being heard-hearted. And once you can discern what the issue is, then you'll know better how to approach it. I would not suggest showing up on her doorstep with your fiancé. I tried that long ago when my parents disowned me for the same thing, and it turned ugly and violent very quickly. So first see what your siblings can find out for you. And go from there. But beyond that, you're 35. You're not a child anymore, and you're in love. Moving forward with this relationship and following your heart is something only you should decide for yourself.